The Unspoken Exhaustion of Summer Events

For some, the thought of summer brings feelings of freedom, joy, and endless relaxing and fun with friends.

For me, it’s a never-ending onslaught of exhaustion.

Let me explain.

For my family, summer is filled with birthdays, weekends at the lake camping, and summer get-togethers with friends and family. Almost every weekend is scheduled, whether it’s travelling up to our seasonal campsite for the weekend at the lake, or visiting the local community day on Saturday and then a birthday party for a friend’s child the next day. Oh yeah, and you have to fit in the usual need for grocery shopping, errands, and house work that always awaits us on the weekends.

It’s definitely not my favorite season.

Winter is a wonderful season for me, particularly after the holidays (they’re their own level of exhaustion). Most schedules are empty, and weekends are lazy with small doses of required socialization. I say required socialization, because my husband is very extroverted, and almost always wants to be with either his friends or family on the weekends. He does know that I need downtime, and usually carves out time for me to be people-free for a bit on the weekends. But for some reason, the summer is unrelenting.

I think it is partly because of the longer days, so the kids want to stay up more. Guests and neighbors stay longer, too, I think, because of this reason. I think it’s also because the weather is usually nicer, and so people want to take full advantage of it. Which I get. 

But why does it always involve large parties with loud music?

Because I am high-masking, people usually don’t see that I am reaching my limit during social interactions. I think my husband does, as he sees me becoming quieter, shorter, and more isolating. I’ll take longer trips to the bathroom for some peace, or sit down by the kids at the pool so I can just focus on one thing (pool safety). But when I get home, I usually crumble into an irritated, exhausted mess, and don’t have enough time to decompress before bedtime, leaving me to wake up depleted.

And the cycle repeats.

Maybe it’s just the unrelenting exhaustion of parenting and adult responsibilities just heightened by the heat. 

But for me, it’s the lack of my needed alone time to create, think, or just be. The inability to truly be myself because I am constantly masking for others all the time. It’s the feeling of drowning in a sweaty, sticky sensory overload while attempting to maintain a decent social interaction within our social construct. It’s the seemingly endless exhaustion that no amount of sleep seems to cure.

This summer, I’m aiming to have a better balance of what I need to do to feel replenished and refreshed, while also engaging in the social summer events. I’m going to not feel guilty letting my husband take the kids to events, or to the lake alone, while I stay at home to do what I need to do to relax. I’m going to say “no” to events that will deplete me and not provide me much benefit, and not feel like I am ruining my relationships. 

Let this be your summer as well. Let’s be more open about what we need to thrive and enjoy this summer. Let’s be okay with the fact that what we need, might be different than what our friends, family, or even society might expect. Let’s enjoy this summer in our own unique way. 

For me, preferably in the air conditioning.